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IarrivedinAmericafullofpessimism, , which, inthecourseofafewyears, graduallycuredmyprematuresenility.
WhenIwenttoseeafootballgameforthefirsttime, , asthestrugglebecamemoreandmoreexciting, , accidentallyturningmyhead, Isawthewhite-hairedprofessorofbotany, , cheeringandyellinginallheartiness, andIfeltsoashamedofmyselfthatIwassooncheeringenthusiasticallywiththecrowd.
EvenduringthedarkestdaysinthefirstyearsoftheChineseRepublic, , Isaid: “NothingishopelessexceptwhenyouandIgiveitupashopeless.” Inmydiaries, IwrotedownsuchquotationsasthisfromClough: “Ifhopesaredupes, fearsareliars.” Orthis, inmyownChinesetranslation, fromBrowning:
Onewhoneverturnedhisback, butmarchedbreastforward,
Neverdoubtedcloudswouldbreak,
Neverdreamed, thoughrightwereworsted, wrongwouldtriumph, Heldwefalltorise, arebaffledtofightbetter, sleeptowake.
InJanuary, 1914， Iwrotethisentryinmydiary: “IbelievethatthegreatestthingIhavelearnedsinceleavingChinaisthisoptimisticphilosophyoflife.” “InDefenseofBrowning’sOptimism.” Ithinkitwaslargelymygraduallychangedoutlookonlifethatmademespeakwithasenseofconvictionintakinguphisdefense.
, : theCollegeofAgriculturethenchargednotuitionfeeandIthoughtImightbeabletosaveapartofmymonthlyallowancetosendtomymother.
, IfinallytransferredtotheCollegeofArtsandSciencesatthepenaltyofpayingfoursemesters’ tuitionfeeatonce, whichcostme8months’ .
AcourseintheHistoryofEuropeanPhilosophy—underthatinspiringteacher, —, buttheirproblemsneverinterestedme.
