MaxShulman
[1] , calculating, perspicacious, acuteandastute — , preciseasachemist’sscales, — thinkofit! — Ionlyeighteen.
[2] , forexample, PeteyBellows, , samebackground, , youunderstand, , , Isubmit, , tosurrenderoneselftoidiocyjustbecauseeverybodyelseisdoingit — this, tome, , however, toPetey.
[3] OneafternoonIfoundPeteylyingonhisbedwithanexpressionofsuchdistressonhisfacethatIimmediatelydiagnosedappendicitis.“Don’tmove,” Isaid, “Don’ttakealaxative.I’llgetadoctor.”
[4] “Raccoon,” hemumbledthickly.
[5] “Raccoon?” Isaid, pausinginmyflight.
[6] “Petey, why? ’ —”
[7] “Youdon’tunderstand,” heinterruptedimpatiently.“It’’tyouwanttobeintheswim?”
[8] “No,” Isaidtruthfully.
[9] “Well, Ido,” hedeclared.“I’!”
[10] Mybrain, thatprecisioninstrument, slippedintohighgear.“Anything?” Iasked, lookingathimnarrowly.
[11] “Anything,” heaffirmedinringingtones.
[12] ; ’thaveitexactly, , PollyEspy.
[13] , tobesure, agirlwhoexcitedtheemotions, , entirelycerebralreason.
[14] ’, almostwithoutexception, marriedtobeautiful, gracious, , Pollyfittedthesespecificationsperfectly.
[15] -upproportions, .
[16] , aneaseofbearing, , gravy, choppednuts, andadipperofsauerkraut — withoutevengettingherfingersmoist.
[17] , , , afterall, easiertomakeabeautifuldumbgirlsmartthantomakeanuglysmartgirlbeautiful.
[18] “Look,” , hairy, gamyobjectthatmyfatherhadworninhisStutzBearcatin1925.
[19] “HolyToledo!” .“HolyToledo!” herepeatedfifteenortwentytimes.
[20] “Wouldyoulikeit?” Iasked.
[21] “Ohyes!” hecried, .“Whatdoyouwantforit?”
