"Joking? Iwastoldattheelder', dearboy, therewasanoldsinnerintheeighteenthcenturywhodeclaredthat, iftherewerenoGod, hewouldhavetobeinvented.S'iln'existaitpasDieu, ilfaudraitl''sstrange, whatwouldbemarvelous, isnotthatGodshouldreallyexist; themarvelisthatsuchanidea, theideaofthenecessityofGod, couldentertheheadofsuchasavage, , sotouching, , I''tgothroughalltheaxiomslaiddownbyRussianboysonthatsubject, allderivedfromEuropeanhypotheses; forwhat'sahypothesisthere, isanaxiomwiththeRussianboy, andnotonlywiththeboysbutwiththeirteacherstoo, ? Iamtryingtoexplainasquicklyaspossiblemyessentialnature, thatiswhatmannerofmanIam, whatIbelievein, andforwhatIhope, that'sit, isn'tit? : ifGodexistsandifHereallydidcreatetheworld, then, asweallknow, , andevensomeofthemostdistinguished, whodoubtwhetherthewholeuniverse, ortospeakmorewidelythewholeofbeing, wasonlycreatedinEuclid'sgeometry; theyevendaretodreamthattwoparallellines, whichaccordingtoEuclidcannevermeetonearth, , sinceIcan'tunderstandeventhat, Ican', IhaveaEuclidianearthlymind, andhowcouldIsolveproblemsthatarenotofthisworld? AndIadviseyounevertothinkaboutiteither, mydearAlyosha, especiallyaboutGod, , andwhat'smore, IacceptHiswisdom, Hispurpose—whichareutterlybeyondourken; Ibelieveintheunderlyingorderandthemeaningoflife; , andWhichItselfwas 'withGod,' andWhichItselfisGodandsoon, andsoon, , don'tI? Yetwouldyoubelieveit, inthefinalresultIdon'tacceptthisworldofGod's, and, althoughIknowitexists, Idon''snotthatIdon'tacceptGod, youmustunderstand, it'stheworldcreatedbyHimIdon', thatallthehumiliatingabsurdityofhumancontradictionswillvanishlikeapitifulmirage, likethedespicablefabricationoftheimpotentandinfinitelysmallEuclidianmindofman, thatintheworld'sfinale, atthemomentofeternalharmony, somethingsopreciouswillcometopassthatitwillsufficeforallhearts, forthecomfortingofallresentments, fortheatonementofallthecrimesofhumanity, ofallthebloodthey'veshed; thatitwillmakeitnotonlypossibletoforgivebuttojustifyallthathashappenedwithmen—butthoughallthatmaycometopass, Idon'', Ishallseeitandsaythatthey'vemet, butstillIwon''swhat'sattherootofme, Alyosha; that', butI'veleduptomyconfession, forthat''twanttohearaboutGod, 'vetoldyou."
Ivanconcludedhislongtiradewithmarkedandunexpectedfeeling.
"Andwhydidyoubegin 'asstupidlyasyoucould'?" askedAlyosha, lookingdreamilyathim.
"Tobeginwith, , thestupideroneis, , , , butstupidityishonestandstraightforward.I'veledtheconversationtomydespair, andthemorestupidlyIhavepresentedit, thebetterforme."
"Youwillexplainwhyyoudon'taccepttheworld?" saidAlyosha.
"TobesureIwill, it'snotasecret, that'swhatI', Idon'twanttocorruptyouortoturnyoufromyourstronghold, perhapsIwanttobehealedbyyou." .
