Andnowthemanwhoshould, hebelieved, havebeenexaltedaboveeveryoneinthewholeworld, thatman, insteadofreceivingtheglorythatwashisdue, wassuddenlydegradedanddishonored! Whatfor? Whohadjudgedhim? Whocouldhavedecreedthis? , withoutresentmenteven, , hadtherebeennothingmarveloustojustifyhishopes, whythisindignity, whythishumiliation, whythisprematuredecay, "inexcessofnature," asthespitefulmonkssaid? Whythis "signfromheaven," whichtheysotriumphantlyacclaimedincompanywithFatherFerapont, andwhydidtheybelievetheyhadgainedtherighttoacclaimit? WhereisthefingerofProvidence? WhydidProvidencehideitsface "atthemostcriticalmoment" (soAlyoshathoughtit), asthoughvoluntarilysubmittingtotheblind, dumb, pitilesslawsofnature?
ThatwaswhyAlyosha'sheartwasbleeding, and, ofcourse, asIhavesaidalready, thestingofitallwasthatthemanhelovedaboveeverythingonearthshouldbeputtoshameandhumiliated! Thismurmuringmayhavebeenshallowandunreasonableinmyhero, butIrepeatagainforthethirdtime—andampreparedtoadmitthatitmightbedifficulttodefendmyfeeling—Iamgladthatmyheroshowedhimselfnottooreasonableatthatmoment, foranymanofsensewillalwayscomebacktoreasonintime, but, iflovedoesnotgaintheupperhandinaboy'sheartatsuchanexceptionalmoment, whenwillit? Iwillnot, however, omittomentionsomethingstrange, whichcameforatimetothesurfaceofAlyosha', whichnowpersistentlyhauntedAlyosha', itwasnotthatsomethingofthefundamental, elemental, sotospeak, , , suddenlyrevivedagainnowinhissoulandseemedforcingitswaytothesurfaceofhisconsciousness.
