Ofthisdifferent, reformedand "virtuous" life ("itmust, itmustbevirtuous") , inwhichhehadsunkofhisownfreewill, wastoorevoltingtohim, and, likeverymanymeninsuchcases, , ifonlyitwerenotforthesecircumstances, ifonlyhecouldflyawayfromthisaccursedplace—hewouldbealtogetherregenerated, , andwhathewasyearningfor.
Butallthiscouldonlybeonconditionofthefirst, , : "'twantyou"—andthen...butthen....', , whilehepreparedhimselfforthefirst, , , anew, incidental, butyetfatalandinsolubledifficultypresenteditself.
Ifsheweretosaytohim: "I'myours; takemeaway," howcouldhetakeheraway? Wherehadhethemeans, themoneytodoit? ItwasjustatthistimethatallsourcesofrevenuefromFyodorPavlovitch, doleswhichhadgoneonwithoutinterruptionforsomanyyears, , ofcourse, butwithregardtothisMityasuddenlyevincedextraordinarypride; hewantedtocarryherawayandbeginthenewlifewithherhimself, athisownexpense, , 'tenlargeonthisfactoranalyzeithere, ."I'vebeenascoundreltooneofthem, andIshallbeascoundrelagaintotheotherdirectly," washisfeelingthen, asheexplainedafter: "andwhenGrushenkaknows, shewon'tcareforsuchascoundrel."
Wherethenwashetogetthemeans, wherewashetogetthefatefulmoney? Withoutit, allwouldbelostandnothingcouldbedone, "andonlybecauseIhadn', theshameofit!"
