, , , , , and, whatwasmore, thathemeant "tocarryheroff", , , DmitrihadsaidoutrightonthepreviousdaythathewasgladthatIvanwashisrival, andthatitwasagreatassistancetohim, ? TomarryGrushenka? , AlyoshahadtilltheeveningbeforeimplicitlybelievedthatKaterinaIvanovnahadasteadfastandpassionateloveforDmitri; , too, thatshewasincapableoflovingamanlikeIvan, andthatshedidloveDmitri, andlovedhimjustashewas, inspiteofallthestrangenessofsuchapassion.
Butduringyesterday' "lacerating," whichMadameHohlakovhadjustuttered, almostmadehimstart, becausehalfwakinguptowardsdaybreakthatnighthehadcriedout "Laceration, laceration," 'ssceneatKaterinaIvanovna''sbluntandpersistentassertionthatKaterinaIvanovnawasinlovewithIvan, andonlydeceivedherselfthroughsomesortofpose, from "self-laceration,"andtorturedherselfbyherpretendedloveforDmitrifromsomefancieddutyofgratitude."Yes," hethought, "perhapsthewholetruthliesinthosewords." ButinthatcasewhatwasIvan'sposition? AlyoshafeltinstinctivelythatacharacterlikeKaterinaIvanovna'smustdominate, andshecouldonlydominatesomeonelikeDmitri, "tohisownhappiness"(whichwaswhatAlyoshawouldhavedesired), butIvan—no, Ivancouldnotsubmittoher, , too, forceditselfuponhim: "Whatifshelovedneitherofthem—neitherIvannorDmitri?"
ItmustbenotedthatAlyoshafeltasitwereashamedofhisownthoughtsandblamedhimselfwhentheykeptrecurringtohimduringthelastmonth."WhatdoIknowaboutloveandwomenandhowcanIdecidesuchquestions?" hethoughtreproachfully, ' livesandthatagreatdealdependeduponit.
