Alyoshasaidtohimself: "Ican'tgivetworoublesinsteadof 'all,' andonlygotomassinsteadof 'followingHim.' " Perhapshismemoriesofchildhoodbroughtbackourmonastery, "crazy" "tworoubles," "elder" isinRussianmonasteries, , however, "elders" isofrecentdate, notmorethanahundredyearsoldinourmonasteries, thoughintheorthodoxEast, especiallyinSinaiandAthos, , butthroughthecalamitieswhichovertookRussia—theTartars, civilwar, theinterruptionofrelationswiththeEastafterthedestructionofConstantinople— "ascetics," astheycalledhim, Pa?ssyVelitchkovsky, , , , forithadnotbeendistinguishedbyanythinginparticulartillthen: theyhadneitherrelicsofsaints, norwonder-workingikons, norglorioustraditions, , toseeandhearwhompilgrimshadflockedforthousandsofmilesfromallparts.
Whatwassuchanelder? Anelderwasonewhotookyoursoul, yourwill, , yourenounceyourownwillandyieldittohimincompletesubmission, , thisterribleschoolofabnegation, isundertakenvoluntarily, inthehopeofself-conquest, ofself-mastery, inorder, afteralifeofobedience, toattainperfectfreedom, thatis, fromself; , "obedience" , andtotheindissolublebondbetweenhimandthem.
