"Inactivelove? There'sanotherquestion—andsuchaquestion! Yousee, Isolovehumanitythat—wouldyoubelieveit?—IoftendreamofforsakingallthatIhave, leavingLise, , , ."
"Itismuch, , unawares, youmaydoagooddeedinreality."
"?" theladywentonfervently, almostfrantically."That'sthechiefquestion—that', 'Wouldyouperseverelongonthatpath? Andifthepatientwhosewoundsyouarewashingdidnotmeetyouwithgratitude, butworriedyouwithhiswhims, withoutvaluingorremarkingyourcharitableservices, beganabusingyouandrudelycommandingyou, andcomplainingtothesuperiorauthoritiesofyou (whichoftenhappenswhenpeopleareingreatsuffering)—whatthen? Wouldyoupersevereinyourlove, ornot?' Anddoyouknow, Icamewithhorrortotheconclusionthat, ifanythingcoulddissipatemylovetohumanity, , Iamahiredservant, Iexpectmypaymentatonce—thatis, praise, ."
Shewasinaveryparoxysmofself-castigation, and, concluding, shelookedwithdefiantresolutionattheelder.
"It'sjustthesamestoryasadoctoroncetoldme," observedtheelder."Hewasamangettingoninyears, , thoughinjest, inbitterjest.'Ilovehumanity,' hesaid, ', ,' hesaid, 'Ihaveoftencometomakingenthusiasticschemesfortheserviceofhumanity, andperhapsImightactuallyhavefacedcrucifixionifithadbeensuddenlynecessary; andyetIamincapableoflivinginthesameroomwithanyonefortwodaystogether, , -fourhoursIbegintohatethebestofmen: onebecausehe'stoolongoverhisdinner; .' "
"Butwhat'stobedone? Whatcanonedoinsuchacase? Mustonedespair?"
