瓦蕾丽·斯马特/ValerieSmart
WhenIwasachild, , , towearaprettynightgowntothesleepover, andtowearaflowereddresstothesciencefair, becausethat'swhat“others”, whichIhavealwayshadtroubledoing.
FrommymotherIlearned, asachild, toplacematchinghandtowelsinthebathroomwhencompanyvisitsandtocashinasavingsbondifthat', youwalkedoneggshellsalldayonChristmasandThanksgiving, andhadthein-lawsoverforbreakfast, theothersideofthefamilyoverforlunch, andallofyourteenagers'friendsoverfordessert.
AsIgrewup, , I'dlearnedthatwhenIwasachild, mymotherhadn'tsaidnotootherpeopleasoftenassheshouldhave.
WhileI'llalwaysbeheartbrokenthatshebecameawidowattheyoungageofforty-six, I'llalwaysbegratefulthatIcametoknowmymotherasanindependentwomanafterward.Iwatchedhershedthestereotypesofawomanraisedinthe1950s, andInowrelishthefactthatsometimesshe, too, hasicecreamfordinner.
FrommymotherIlearned, asanadult, togiveyourselfwhatyouwant, , becauselifeistoodifficultwhenyoudon'-lawsorotherfamilymembersoranyoneelse, youdon'thavetofakeit, becauselifeistooshorttoputonappearancesandtoworryaboutwhatothersmightthink.
Ilearnedthatit'sokaynottomakethebed, nottoironyourjeans, andtoleaveapileofdishesinthesink, 'sperfectlyacceptabletoserveyourguestsabagofchipsandicedtea, ifthat'sallyouhaveinthehouse.
Mymothertaughtme, asanadult, thatwhenabillcomesinthemail, toripoffthereturnstub, tuckitintothemailingenvelope, , becausewhenyoudrytheclothesthenextday, they', manicotti, , andthatyoudon'thavetopaintyourfaceordyeyourhairtobeabeautifulwomanatanyage.
