, coolthereintheshade, , whoseemedtoenjoythegentlemovementoftheswing.
ButIwasn’tenjoyinganythingjustthen.I’.I, fretfulandnervousasonlyanewmothercanbe, , andnotfeelingcheerfulaboutthismotherhoodbusinessatall.
Sittingontheglider, wetalked-orrather, Italked, , youreachedovertotouchmyhair.
“It’ssopretty,”yousaid, anoddexpressiononyourface.“Thewaythesunishittingitiustnow……Inevernoticedyouhadsomanyredhighlightsbefore.”
Alittleembarrassed, preoccupiedwithotherthoughtsandproblems, ’tknowwhatIsaid, somethingshortanddismissive, nodoubt, , andIwaspleased.
:IsitpossiblethatyoustillseethemiracleinmethatIseeinJana?Doesthemagiccontinueevenwhenyourchildrenaregrownandgoneandparentsthemselves?WillIlookatJanainthirtyyearsandstillfeelthesamerushofloveforherthatIdonow?
’stoovulnerable, , thefrictions, themisunderstandings, thedailyconflictsandstruggles, .
Whathappenstothatfirst, strongrushoflove?Isitlostsomewherealongtheway, buriedbeneaththeroutinepracticalitiesofcaringforagrowingchild?Orisitthereallalong, unvoicedandunexpressed, until, perhaps, anewchildisbornandamotherreachesouttotouchherdaughter’shair?
That, itseemstome, istherealmiracle:thewayamother'sloveisrediscovered, repeated, passedonagainandagain-asithasbeenhandeddowninourlivesfromyoutome, frommetoJana, andfromJana, perhaps, .
IguesswhatI’vebeenmeaningtosayallalongis, thanks, Mom.
30年后，我终于开始体会到妈妈的苦心了。尽管我的女儿嘉娜才只有10个月大，但我还是觉得，她出生后不久我便更加了解您的艰辛了，比我在您身边长大和离开您之后的所有日子里都更加了解。
