玛莎·鲁塞尔·徐/MarthaRussellHsu
“IkeepworryingaboutMartha,”mymothersaidaswesatinthehospitalcorridor, waitingformyfathertobeexaminedbythedoctor.“Weleftherplayingintheyardanddidn’’snotsittingsomewherecrying.”
Iwipedawaytearsthatwerestreamingdownmycheeks.“ButI’mMartha.I’mrightherewithyou.”Itriedtoreassureher.
“No, notyou.”mymotheranswered,“MylittleMartha.”
Fearsofabandonment, pastandpresent, envelopedusaswetriedtoadjusttomyfather’ssuddenincapacity.
;.“I’llcomeassoonasIcan-ontheearlymorningplane.”Ipromised.
Mymotherandfather, marriedforfifty-eightyears, hadneverhadaseriousemergencybefore, althoughmymotherhadbecomeincreasinglyconfusedinthelastseveralmonths.“Andisyourmotherstillalive?”shehadaskedmeonmylastvisit, , withthedailyroutinedisruptedandthenearlyconstantcompanionshipofmyfatherremoved, herdisorientationwasmoresevere.
“ButI’mworriedaboutMartha.”mymothersaidagainwhenwehadreturnedhomeandsatdownforlunch.“Imgoingouttolookforher.”
“ButI’mMartha.”Itriedagain.“LittleMarthagrewupandturnedintome.”
“That’sridiculous.”, wentouttothestreet, .“I’mgoingtoaskthosepeopleoverthereifthey’veseenher.”Mymother, becomingincreasinglyfrantic, wasreadytoplungeintotrafficandcrossthebusystreet.
“Let’sgohomeandcallthechurchoffice.”Ipleaded.“Maybesomeonetherecanhelp.”
Onthewaybacktothehouse, mymothersaid,“It’.”
Anote!Seeingawaytorelievemymother’sagitation, Iscribbledanoteassoonaswewereinthehouse, andleftitwhereitcouldbediscoveredaminutelater.“Mama,”itsaid,“’tworry.I’.”
