Idon'tthinkIwillbewritinglettersmanymoreyearsandIwishyouwouldreadthislettertwice—, 'mtalkingtoyou, youthinkofmeasanolderperson, an "authority" , andwhenIspeakofmyownyouthwhatIsaybecomesunrealtoyou—fortheyoungcan'.
, , beingpatientinthosedays, —, andtheonlydignity, andtriedtoatoneforitbyworkingherself, butitwastoolateandshebrokeandisbrokenforever.
Itwastoolatealsoformetorecoupthedamage—Ihadspentmostofmyresources, spiritandmaterial, onher, butIstruggledonforfiveyearstillmyhealthcollapsed, andallIcaredaboutwasdrinkandforgetting.
—'thavethestrengthforthebigstage—sometimesshepretended, andpretendedbeautifully, butshedidn', —she'spassedthatfailingontoyou.
ForalongtimeIhatedhermotherforgivinghernothinginthelineofgoodhabit—nothingbut "gettingby" , , , pleadasonewillwiththem—theironlycontributiontothehumanfamilyistowarmaseatatthecommontable.
Myreformingdaysareover, andifyouarethatwayIdon''.
Ihavebeguntofearthatyoudon'', orcallitmoney, —, improvingneitheryourbodynoryourmind, butonlywritingreamsandreamsofdrearyletterstodrearypeople, , eveninyoursleep, .
, foritlooksonoldthingswithneweyes—, candonothing, (andyouhavetoldHaroldthatIalternatedbetweenstrictnessandneglect, , forIhadlittlesociallifeapartfromyou) representedarathertoodomesticdutyforcedonmebyyourmother', lesswillinglyafterthat...
Tosumup: Whatyouhavedonetopleasemeormakemeproudispracticallynegligiblesincethetimeyoumadeyourselfagooddiveratcamp (andnowyouaresofterthanyouhaveeverbeen).Inyourcareerasa "wildsocietygirl" , vintageof1925, I''twantanyofit—itwouldboreme, "goingsomewhere" , , whenoccasionallyIseesignsoflifeandintentioninyou, , somerealgustoforlife—arealdreamofyourown—andmyideawastowedittosomethingsolidbeforeitwastoolate——nowyourconversationisascommonplaceasifyou'dspentthelasttwoyearsintheCornHollowHighSchool— whatyousawinLifeandreadinSexyRomances.
IshallcomeEastinSeptembertomeetyourboat—'—orwantto—remainstobeseen.
Daddy
Metro-Goldwyn-MayerCorporation
CulverCity, California
July7,1938
