Butthosewhoquestionmost, willdohimjusticefullest, , whatheis, andwhatheistome, , charmsmeintothinkingofhimwhenheseesmythoughtswandering, forcesmetosmileinspiteofnilofthem, ifyouhadseenhimthatdayatOrleans.
Helaidmedownonthebedandsatbymeforhours, pouringoutfloodsoftendernessandgoodness, andpromisingtowinbackforme, withGod'shelp, , andhesaidtomewithadeep, serioustenderness "Ikissedyourfeet, myBa, beforeImarriedyou, butnowIwouldkissthegroundunderyourfeet, Iloveyouwithasomuchgreaterlove." Andthisistrue, , , buttrueandstrangeitis, , , , this, , withawordwritten, "." Nobodywasdispleasedatthereserveusedtowardsthem, understandingthattherewerereasonsforitwhichdidnotdetractfromhisaffectionforthemandmyrespect.
...
ButIthink...think...ofthesufferingIcausedyou, myown, ownArabel, thatevening! Itremblethinkingofyouthatevening, myowndearestdearestArabel! Oh, , , , hesays, andwishesthatyouwerewithus, andhopesthatonedayyouwillbewithus, stayingandtravellingwithus, exactlyasIdomyself.
Anddoyoufeelandknow, thatasforme, formypositionasawife, , andbeyondmeinallthings, , because, itisofthese, Ifeelsure, thatyoudesireknowledgerather.
IamgoingtowritetoPapa, andtoGeorge, verysoon, , dearGeorgewouldnothavewrittenso, ifhehadknownmywholeheart, yethelovedmewhilehewrote, , ! Mythoughtsclingtoyouall, .
yourfondlyattached
Ba
(Roanne)October2, 1846
亲爱的妹妹们:
感谢和祝福你们,我最亲爱的亨里埃塔、阿拉贝尔……我最亲最爱的妹妹们——到了奥尔良,我遭受了什么呀——终于接到了你们的来信,我对你们的感激,就像我所遭受的痛苦一样深,像我在你们来信的字里行间留的泪水和亲吻一样多……你们是最亲爱最善良的。在巴黎耽搁了一周,因此一到奥尔良我就得面临死亡时刻——我当时称它为“死亡许可证”,我是那样地担忧和害怕。罗伯特抱来了一大摞信件……我把它们抓在手里,可一封也打不开。我浑身颤抖,脸色越发苍白,四肢越发冰凉。他想坐在我身旁,看着我读这些信,但我没有答应,我决不让他在那一刻到来时这样做——因此,一番央求后,我让他离开10分钟,以便自己独自承受这极度的痛苦。你们知道,按以往的习惯,那样会使我更坚强——而且,不让他看这些信是对的……